I don't expect anyone to actually still be reading this thing. In fact, I don't rightly remember the last time that I wrote in it. But a funny thing happened to me this morning that just gave me the urge to record the happenings of my life this New Year's....because by leaving it here I can look back in the future and see that life does indeed get better, even if you thought that it never could, or that it never would.

This morning I got some spam on my livejournal. But the spam brought to my attention an entry I had made on NYE the year 2006. Four years ago. It's absolutely astounding how much my life has changed since then. In fact, it's absolutely astounding how much my life has changed over the last year.

At that point in time, I had gone through a year where I had broken up with the only boyfriend I had ever had, and I was battling depression, transitions in relationships with my friends, a weight problem I'd had since puberty, and probably other things I can't even remember.

Rereading that entry with a perspective of four years of experience, learning, growth, it just made me want to put down in some form of permanence what my life is like right now, so that in the future I can look back and see what it was that made me me, the events that transpired to make me into the person that I am today. Which is a completely different person from the girl that wrote that entry.

In the intervening years, much has happened. That girl that broke up with Steve and was left crushed by the whole experience decided to get into something really seriously that she'd only tried and flirted with. Kickboxing. Signing up for that one leisure guide class has changed the course of that girl's entire life....

That girl went to that first day of class, met Olivia Gerula, and though she might not realize it for a long time to come, took the first steps on the path that would make her into someone I am very proud to be right now.

Don't get me wrong, my evolution isn't done. I'm always transforming, I feel. But I don't think I'll ever change into someone completely unrecognizable as the person I am today. I'll just continue to learn and grow, evolve as people tend to do.

But the person sitting here writing this journal entry in 2011 is such a different person than wrote the journal entry that NYE of 2006 that I can't even believe she was me, or I was her, however you want to call it.

Getting into kickboxing put me in touch with a couple of people that would push me, inspire me, build up my confidence and change me in ways that I couldn't even imagine back then.  Between them and the chiropractic clinic I would eventually be forced to go to by my family to treat my headaches, my life has improved drastically!

I met Olivia, through her Peter, and through Peter, Lisa. I pursued kicboxing with a dedication I'd never pursued anything with before. Peter convinced me to try my hand at boxing as well, and actually get in the ring, which I did for the first time in March of 2009, successfully losing 25 pounds between the day I first weighed in during the pre fight sign up meeting and the day of weigh ins of my fight. It took me out of having an actual fight, putting me in an exhibition instead, but it was the first time that I'd ever succesfully lost weight since I started putting it on as a teenager. And to this day, I have not seen the number again that I saw that first day I officially weighed in at Pan Am Boxing.

It was a combination of the hard core training and the nutrition I was learning at my chiropractic clinic. But it worked, and it keeps working. So far that overweight, unhappy woman who had been a fat teenager in high school has gone from being about 220 pounds to hovering in the 150's and trying desperately to lose that last fifteen. They say it's the toughest.

I've fought in another exhibition fight. I became the first female champion of Pan Am's Fight Club. I don't recall NYE of 2007, but I know NYE 2008, 2009 and 2010 were all spent at Apocalypse, whichever bar was holding it for our crowd. I've gone from having nearly no friends to having a number of people I can rely on. A rather large number of people I call friends that I chat with at least on a weekly basis, and a handful of some of the best friends a girl could ever have, who more than adaquetly replace the ones that walked out of my life without even telling me they were going, instead just turning their back and ignoring me, something that they knew would hurt more than anything.

That girl is gone, she's become an amateur boxer, a sometimes assistant leader, and a Fight Club mentor at Pan Am. She has found somewhere deep inside her a level of confidence and self worth that girl she was could never imagine.

She's won the title of Goth Queen of Winnipeg, 2010. A pretentious title to be sure, but it's quite like winning Prom Queen. It's a popularity contest. Me, winning a popularity contest? Who would have thunk?

That girl also had the guts enough to coerce a young man to join her in at the dead dog swim at Keycon. A move which was nothing more than fun at the time, but set in motion a deeper acquaintance that has blossomed into something totally amazing....

A few months later that same young man was on her Facebook, and was coerced into coming out to Goth Night with a mutual friend. And had a pretty good time. And was coerced into coming out to Halloween. At which time my friendship with him evolved into something more, and I am now astoundingly lucky to call him my sweetie.

And I'm eternally grateful I wasn't too shy to ask him to come swim. :)

This NYE, instead of spending it alone doing laundry, remembering how I got dumped right after New Year's that one time, I was with my sweetie, ringing the New Year in, which has been great to me so far, in spite of my ongoing health trouble I'm determined to conquer.

I'm back at boxing as much as I am able, I am mentoring, I'm trying to get back into a daily routine at work, and I spend time with fantastic friends and my amazing boyfriend. And looking back on the Steve situation, it seems like something I had to go through to get here. I guess I'm glad I did.
 

So, someone last Sunday asked me to add them on LJ so we could keep in touch and be nerdy, and it prompted me to realize that I haven't posted on this thing in eons....and that, now that my life has chilled out a bit, i'd like to pick the journal up, dust it off a little bit, and getting back into the swing of writing a little something every day, even if it was only something that would be cast out in the ether to be mostly ignored. At least I would be doing it.

When we last left off, other than the status of my brother's house, I was absolutely panicking about my first ever amateur boxing match, so I'll start with catching you up on that.

On March 7, 2009, I had the privelidge of fighting in the White Collar Brawler even and Pan Am Boxing here in WInnipeg. It was one of the best things I have ever done in my life.

The medical ended up going well. In fact, I had dropped enough weight in the training time leading up to the fight, that I'd technically dropped too much weight to fight the girl they'd intended to match me up with all along. While one part of me would still like the challenge of getting in the ring one day with the girl that I had let so badly intimidate me, I'm not willing to gain any weight to do it. The goal now is to be a lightweight by November, and fight at that class in the next White Collar event.

As it stood, I ended up having an exhibition match against another woman who didn't have anyone in her weight class. Darcia and I had sparred before, and we were well matched, and not out to hurt each other. I think the match up made for a wonderful first fight for me, and with all of the other things that I had nerves about, it was one less worry that night.

The fight went well, but as it was an exhibition, there was no decision. But hey, that means we BOTH came out winners!

It turned out to be a very amazing experience, and one that I'll hang on to forever. It got me addicted to wanting to get my body into the best shape it can be. I box or kickbox 5 or 6 days a week now. Three days a week I run three miles, when a couple of months ago I found it hard to run a mile a week. I love pushing my body to see how much improvement I can make, and can't wait until it shows that I'm an athelete, because that's what I'm beginning to feel like.


Here's a picture of one of my two wonderful coaches right before my fight. If she looks familiar, it's because she's Olivia Gerula, the WBC Super Featherweight Chanpion of the world.
 

 

I've been either busy, or too EMO to want to share with the LJ world, but I just want kind of wanted to gather prayers and good thoughts for my brother, sister in law, and puppy-nephew, who just may be out of a home.

I don't know how much anyone out there in LJ land knows about the Red River flooding in and around Winnipeg, but it's been pretty bad up here. The ice came up over the banks of the river and has destroyed entire communities.

Though my brother's house wasn't the worst hit, it still got hit bad enough to have pictures of it all over the news. Take a look:

So, please keep he and his little family in your good will and thoughts. I'm hoping the house can be salvaged. It was their dream home.